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fathers eyes
December 10, 2018, 1:51am

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lillyella
July 21, 2005, 8:25pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Please can anyone help me, Im in a dilema.  I'm pregnant and not sure who the father is, its either my husband or a guy I had a very regrettable one night stand with.  Is there any way at all that my husband could find out that the baby isnt his? Other than the DNA test...if he ever brought it up.  I really want this baby with my husband and just put it all behind me, but until I know for sure that he will never find out (if the baby isnt his) then I cant stop thinking about it, thanks,, Lilly
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NeilT
July 21, 2005, 10:40pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hi Lilly welcome to the forum..

Quoted Text
Is there any way at all that my husband could find out that the baby isnt his?
Boy this must be very difficult for you.
Well, your husband IS going to find out at some stage be it soon or in 20 years time, these things always come out.
You must have an idea from the conception date, to who you were sleeping with? Some times a secret can be best, and if you love your husband, with all of your heart, well you may have to carry this with you.

Why did you sleep with the other guy?


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lillyella
July 24, 2005, 12:39pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Thanks for your reply. In answer to why did I sleep with another guy, well Its the lamest excuse out there. I was so so drunk and it just happened. I have no excuse really. It did mean nothing and I do love my husband with all of my heart. I think I can keep this secret with me forever, as I have convinced myself it is my husbands baby. We are so happy together and he desperately wants this baby. I know you said my husband will find out at some point? how? maybe I am being naive, but there is no medical way of him finding out is there? Did you mean that it will comeout through someone gossiping or through an argument? Please let me know, its really important. Nobody else knows my secret so there is nobody that will blurt it out.  I have tried to work it out from the conception dates, but its hard cause I have been sleeping with my husband pretty regularly but I also slept with this guy in my fertile time.  It really could be either.
Thanks Lilly

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lillyella  -  July 24, 2005, 12:41pm
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Elfi
July 24, 2005, 1:56pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from maxine
Mine are hazel/green - and - apprently - one of my best features!

But Dad's are Green and Mum's are brown - so possibly a combination of both!

Hubby has green eyes too - and very lovely they are indeed!!


my eyes are hazel-brown,my dads  were a really nice blue,my mums are dark brown,my sisters are green,my other sisters are very dark brown,and out of my 3 brothers,only one has blue eyes.



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NeilT
July 24, 2005, 2:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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lillyella, your secret should be OK, but if in the future your child ever gets a medical condition, then you are in for a problem.
Have you discussed this with your doctor? he/she may be able to advice you?


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MJB
July 25, 2005, 6:39am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from NeilT
lillyella, your secret should be OK


To me, if a marriage is holding these kind of (terrible) secrets, then the marriage may as well be over.

Clearly, a person who sleeps with another outside marriage is unhappy with some element of the marriage - and chooses the "run-away-and-do-something-bad" scenario instead of facing the problem head on with the husband/wife.


Also, I don't think it is fair on a child to be deprived of it's biological father. I'd want to know who my real dad was (although, thankfully, I'm not in that unfortunate position) - but I'm sure most children would want the truth...


And, to be "so drunk, it just happened".... sorry, but that's not very responsible is it?


Sorry if my response seems a little harsh, but if you publicly ask for feedback, it's not all going to be good....



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lillyella  -  July 25, 2005, 6:41am
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NeilT
July 25, 2005, 6:41pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted Text
a person who sleeps with another outside marriage is unhappy with some element of the marriage
Not always the case... these things happen, and more often than not with regret.


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MJB
July 26, 2005, 6:58am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hmmm. Can't agree with you there Neil. As adults we should be responsible enough to not "let things happen"...


Still. It'd be a boring old world if we all agreed on everything eh?


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NeilT
July 26, 2005, 9:30pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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True Maxine, and to have different opinons is what makes the world go around...


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Elfi
August 27, 2005, 10:51am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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i see both maxines points and neils,so im only glad its not my decision.

but what works for one person doesnt always work for the next,i feel for all concerned here.



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