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Splitting up
December 10, 2018, 1:38am

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NeilT
August 27, 2005, 11:48pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Thanks for that elphatt.. I have just got in, managed to get to a friends for a couple of hours, no beer, but stacks of vodka   so a little half cut.
I now just want rid of Jane, for what she has done, I know in my heart that she is ill, and has problems, and that soon she is going to regret what she has done, this is the 6th time she has done this, though not since Lucy was born, 5 years back. I thought I could help her with her problems, I really thought I could help, and have been there all the time, and still upto a couple of days would have taken her back, but after the last time, well I just can not ever do it (PM me about the last time)
The way I feel now, is that I *Care* for Jane, but do not love her, I dont hate her, as I know she ill...


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Elfi
August 28, 2005, 4:19pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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you can always try to helpwith problems,but you cant be the cure...especially since you werent the cause.

itd maybe be different if you know it was only something you did,you could maybe put it right.

sounds confusing,but im speaking from experience and believe it or not,i dont always put things into words right

vickis dad and i were together for 12 years,we grew apart,but he was a man who never showed affection except to his work.he worked his way to near the top of the firm he was with,and i know he had a lot to be proud of,buthe was so cold all the time and never said i love you or anything like that,i didnt hear that until id left and went back to try again.

he tried i suppose but admitted it just wasnt in him to be something he wasnt.he was a bit of a hitler in life.

he was arogant and looked down on people.

he couldnt even show emotion when my dad died,he knew i wasnt going to get over it,and he didnt try to be of any comfort.

he cried though,  2 months later when diana was killed in the car crash,and well,that was the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with him.

he says that ifmy dad hadnt died,we would still be together..but i had a break down sort of,and
according to the psyciatrist,needed some-one and was crying out for the attention i got from my dad.

id known rob my husband for a few years,and we got closer over time,and well,the rest is history.

you are right neil when you say that you never know when it will all go wrong. i knew at the time that i wasnt really happy,but i put up with it for vicki.and didnt see the wrong in that.but,i changed when my dad died and nothing was the same again.





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NeilT
August 28, 2005, 11:32pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Yup, we all learn. I am a talker, well a lot of the time, and many times, I have asked Jane to talk, and if we could not talk between us, for us to get help, like Relate, but she had her sister pushing, and pushing for us to split (her sister is anti man, and is going through a divorce, and just about all men are "private heads") So she got her way. This is the 6th time Jane has left, and each time, I have taken her back, and given her the benefit of the doubt. But sorry, not this time, if it was to happen, enough is enough, I have to move on.

This morning was terrible, to say goodbye to Lucy and Lee, they are all excited, as they are so little, it is like going on holiday for them. I should be seeing them on Wednesday, which I am looking forward to.
But even this morning, Jane sly sister, was waiting, with out me knowing to take them away... what a b****.

But I have been shopping to-day, and got some new bedding and other house hold things, to get my own stamp on where I live. One hard thing when a person leaves, is that you can still smell them, and you have to change the home, to get them out of your life.
Also been with a friend most of the time, and been talking, so I am just fine and dandy, in fact I am feeling good


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Elfi
August 29, 2005, 11:52am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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glad to hear you are feeling good neil.

and im glad the kids were excited,would be a lot worse for you and them if they didnt want to go.

the easier it is the better for the kids.




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NeilT
August 29, 2005, 7:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Yup... and Wednesday should be intresting to see how the kids are, well that is if Janes eveil sister has not filled there head with any crap.

Missing the kids, but not Jane, not one little bit. Was a good day to-day, as it was Simons 14th birthday, sh spent time with him, and another friend, so feeling very happy...


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Elfi
August 29, 2005, 8:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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things are looking up eh.

tell them you will take it to court to stop them, the courts take a dim view of messing with a childs head.

even if you dont intend to go to court,id give them something to think about.



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NeilT
August 29, 2005, 11:11pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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I already have the first phase, under way with my solicitor This time, I just want everything to be over as quick as possible, inc the divorce. If this time next year it is all done, I will be more than happy.
The slight bad thing is that all of this is also going mess up the arrangments I have for Simon, and gawd knows what wil happen with Mike, my step son, well was my step son, he has been pissed around already, so there are 4 kids, that are involved.
But Simon, is fine and dandy with things, he now has his "dad" back, we get on, soooooo good. He will look out for Lucy and Lee, so we are all going to be just sooooo fine, in fact I am looking forward to bringing up the kids. I did it with Simon, on my own, and he has turned out to be a great son.
All so strange to think that only 2 weeks back, I thought all was good, and then what can happen in just one week.. so fast.


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PaulB
August 29, 2005, 11:16pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hope it all goes through smoothly Neil.

This whole marriage thing just doesn't sound appealing to me at all


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NeilT
August 30, 2005, 12:47am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted Text
This whole marriage thing just doesn't sound appealing to me at all
Mnnn, well.. to be honest, it can be good and bad. The releationship I had with Jane, well it was up and down for many years, but when I married, I thought we had put history behind us, she promised that she had done this. But I was wrong for believing her.. moral of story, do not get into a releationship with baggage.
First marriage, well, I fooked up on this, well sort of.. I fell in love with another girl... note the word love.. This was not a fling, but due to gulit, I went back to wife number one, even though I did not love her.. bad move...
Moral of story, stick with the one that you love, or your wife/partner, and do not go else where, as it will go tits shaped up. Looking back now, wife number one, has always been the one that stood by me, and she is now a great friend to have.

But do not let any of this, put any one of marraige.


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Elfi
August 30, 2005, 8:40am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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your right..that is a bad move..i didi it.

but i got married at the age of 38,cos i always thought it was not for me.

glad i waited though.



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