You are visiting the Motion and Heart forums, the number one forums for fans of Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, AKA OMD


The Motion & Heart web site is run for free. But if you did want to make a donation to the running of this site, to help to cover the running cost, then you can now make a donation via Paypal, Cheque, Postal Order . It is quick and easy to to do, and you do not need to have a Paypal account to make a donation.

Motion & Heart Our Forum OMD Fan? OMD Event Donate Shop OMD Media Mailing List


Christmas Alcohol Troubleshooting....
September 24, 2018, 6:37am

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Motion And Heart Forum    :::: The Lounge ::::    Christmas Cheer 2007  ›  Christmas Alcohol Troubleshooting....
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

Christmas Alcohol Troubleshooting....  This thread currently has 984 views. Print Print Thread
1 Pages 1 Recommend Thread
MJB
December 21, 2007, 11:31am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Mod
Married & Happy
Posts: 16,850
Gender: Female
Posts Per Day: 3.16
Time Online: 27 days 14 hours 23 minutes
Location: My little corner of Motion and Heart ♥
Age: 50


A handy guide.......





SYMPTOM Feet cold and wet.

FAULT  Glass being held at incorrect angle.

ACTION Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

*********************************************************

SYMPTOM Feet warm and wet.

FAULT Improper bladder control.

ACTION Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

***************************************************************

SYMPTOM Drink unusually pale and tasteless.

FAULT  Glass empty.

ACTION Get someone to buy you another drink.

********************************************

SYMPTOM  Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

FAULT You have fallen over backward.

ACTION Have yourself leashed to bar.

**************************************

SYMPTOM Mouth contains cigarette butts.

FAULT You have fallen forward.

ACTION See above.


********************************************

SYMPTOM Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

FAULT Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

ACTION Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

*********************************************************


SYMPTOM Floor blurred.

FAULT You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

ACTION Get someone to buy you another drink.


******************************************************


SYMPTOM Floor moving.

FAULT You are being carried out.

ACTION Find out if you are being taken to another bar.


****************************************************

SYMPTOM Room seems unusually dark.

FAULT  Bar has closed.

ACTION Confirm home address with bartender.


**********************************************

SYMPTOM Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.

FAULT Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

ACTION Cover mouth.

********************************************************

SYMPTOM Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

FAULT
You are dancing on the table.

ACTION Fall on somebody cushy-looking.


*********************************************


SYMPTOM Drink is crystal-clear.

FAULT  It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

ACTION
Punch him.


*************************************************


SYMPTOM Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

FAULT  You have been in a fight.

ACTION Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.


*****************************************************


SYMPTOM Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

FAULT  You've wandered into the wrong party.

ACTION See if they have free alcohol.


***************************************************************


SYMPTOM Your singing sounds distorted.

FAULT  The drink is too weak.

ACTION Have more alcohol until your voice improves.


*********************************************

SYMPTOM Don't remember the words to the song.

FAULT  Drink is just right.

ACTION Play air guitar.










  M    A    X    I    N    E  
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message
Elfi
December 21, 2007, 2:32pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Motion & Heart
I like my smilies
Posts: 9,609
Gender: Female
Posts Per Day: 1.99
Time Online: 47 days 12 hours 5 minutes
Age: 118
Haha nice tips  



Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 1 - 4
nigel2568
December 21, 2007, 3:04pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

The More I See You
Posts: 3,262
Gender: Male
Posts Per Day: 0.72
Time Online: 32 days 1 hours 17 minutes
Location: Birkenhead, England
Age: 50
Very good, will have to try and remember them.



Nigel ?  Oh yeah, he's up there !
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 2 - 4
NeilT
December 21, 2007, 9:30pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

"Cos Thats The Way The Mop Flops"
Administrator
Keeping everyone happy
Posts: 15,719
Gender: Male
Posts Per Day: 2.94
Time Online: 153 days 12 hours 1 minutes
Location: Manchester (UK)
Age: 56
Quoted Text
Haha nice tips
nice what  


"Thats The Way The Mop Flops"
The Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark Fan web site @ http://www.omd.me.uk/

Find the Motion and Heart Facebook page @ http://www.facebook.com/MotionandHeart
Logged
Site Site Private Message Private message Windows Live Messenger WLM Skype Skype Reply: 3 - 4
Elfi
December 22, 2007, 5:46am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Motion & Heart
I like my smilies
Posts: 9,609
Gender: Female
Posts Per Day: 1.99
Time Online: 47 days 12 hours 5 minutes
Age: 118
Lol.... tiiiipppppssss Neil, t.i.P.s.  



Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 4 - 4
1 Pages 1 Recommend Thread
Print Print Thread

Motion And Heart Forum    :::: The Lounge ::::    Christmas Cheer 2007  ›  Christmas Alcohol Troubleshooting....

Thread Rating
There is currently no rating for this thread
 


Powered by E-Blah Forum Software 10.3.6 © 2001-2008

Valid XHTML Valid CSS Sourceforge.net Powered by Perl