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Divorce Letter
August 19, 2018, 8:48pm

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Joey
October 6, 2008, 9:53pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Almost
Posts: 19
Gender: Female
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Time Online: 16 hours 6 minutes
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 48
Dear wife:
    
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that  I'm leaving you.
I've been a  good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show
for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice
I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and
even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.  You ate in 2 minutes,
and went straight to sleep after watching all of your
soaps.
    
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband
and wife.  Either you're cheating on me, or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
    
     Your EX-Husband

P. S.   Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
           Virginia together! Have a great life!



    'Best Response to a Divorce Letter'
_______________________________
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been.
    
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
    
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but
the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say
something nice, I didn't comment.
    
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating
pork 7 years ago.
    
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the  $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed
it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
  
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out.
So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my
job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica .
    
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason,
I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a
dime from me.  So, take care.
    
     Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell And Free!
    
P. S.     I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
             Carl.  I hope that's not a problem
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NeilT
October 6, 2008, 10:27pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

"Cos Thats The Way The Mop Flops"
Administrator
Keeping everyone happy
Posts: 15,717
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Time Online: 153 days 11 hours 59 minutes
Location: Manchester (UK)
Age: 56
Ohh ohhh


"Thats The Way The Mop Flops"
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Sandra
October 6, 2008, 10:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

I'm very close to far away...
The More I See You
Dont touch me.. I may blow up
Posts: 2,663
Gender: Female
Posts Per Day: 0.59
Time Online: 56 days 9 hours 11 minutes
Location: Manchester
Age: 53
Suddenly glad I don't have a sister! lol  


Onwards and upwards...
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